It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I smell like Dick and happiness
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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