My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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