Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
