So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize