I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
