did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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