she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
