But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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