As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
