She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
