Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
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I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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