New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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