Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf