Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up