im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?