Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

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(505): View more from New Mexico

And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

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(408): View more from California

I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(575): View more from New Mexico

The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

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(626): View more from California

I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible

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