Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.

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(404): View more from Georgia

"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made

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(630): View more from Illinois

My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.

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(949): View more from California

this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".

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(512): View more from Texas

i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed

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(906): View more from Michigan

You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son

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