My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing