i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip