i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
