I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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