shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
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PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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