Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
youre lurking in front of me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
