If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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