She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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