He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
