I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We don't watch enough power rangers
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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