I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
