Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
