beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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