You're so nebulous sometimes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
