I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize