Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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