Cold hands, warm shart.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How does it feel to date your dad?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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