Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
