I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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