I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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