Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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