how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
