i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I lost the right to judge tonight
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
