What a fucking waste of an outfit
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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