hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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