If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
