wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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