Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its not stalking. its research.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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