From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize