Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
