Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he thought i was a dude.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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