is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
