He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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