her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
