If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
