You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
