The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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