I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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