So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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