please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
