8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
