I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
