Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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