I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
