I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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