Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sarcasm needs its own font
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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