So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
