Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
