Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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