weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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