I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize