You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
no, he came in my armpit
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
where are my eyebrows?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
