I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
