if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
